Thursday, June 30, 2011

Why does it seem medical people don't listen????


As you may know yesterday I had water therapy.  They kept telling me I had a balance problem and were working the wrong muscles.  I kept telling them the only balance problem I had was when the muscles spasmed too much they would throw me off balance and I would fall if I was not careful and sat down immediately when the muscles started going into their spasms.  They worked the wrong muscles.  By the time I got out of there, I could not stand up straight!!

Needless to say, I am not going back.  I will do my own water therapy in the pool at the YMCA.  This is not the first time I have had a medical person not listen to what I was telling them.  It is like they only hear part of what you say, or tune you out completely.  Why is it they think a patient does not know what they are feeling?

I may not know all the correct medical terminology but I sure know what my body is feeling and what it is doing that is not right.  I think it is time for me to go back to a more natural approach to taking care of myself.  I have done it before and felt better then than I do on conventional medicines.

Now I should say, that not ALL medical people are so arrogant they don't listen to their patients.  But I sure seem to have a run of getting the bad ones.

I got the heating pad on me last night and went to bed early.  I am feeling better this morning but still a little sore.  I am going to finish up my weed whacking this morning then have to go run a few errands.  Want to get this done before the heat sets in for today as it is to get hot later.  Tonight is bible study and I am making refreshments.  So I will get them put together this afternoon when it is too hot to work outside.  Hope you all have a great day!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A beautiful day,,,,,

Good morning!!

God has given us another beautiful day here in Central Illinois.  Thank you Lord!!  I am going to have to keep this one short today as I have physical therapy this morning in another city about an hour away.  Actually Water Therapy to be more precise.  Anyway, I will have to leave soon so I will write more tomorrow.

I managed to get a lot done yesterday.  Several loads of laundry, mowed 2 yards, mine and my landlord's property next door.  Job interviews and research.  Just to name a few of the things that kept me busy all day, LOL.

Unfortunately the job I thought I would be doing from home did not pan out so I am back to looking again.  Because of my fibromyalgia it would be much better for me to work from home because of the frequent breaks I need to take.  I also have PTSD and being around a lot of people working could present a problem, such as panic or anxiety attacks.  That would not be a good thing for either me or them.  The problem with them is I never know when they will hit or what might trigger them.

Anyhow, I am not giving up and I am trusting in the Lord that he will provide a way for me to make a living so I can keep my home and not wind up on the streets in August.  I hope you all have an awesome day!!  Trust in the Lord always!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Once saved, always saved???


I wasn't sure what I would write about today when I got up earlier but God has really laid this on my heart.  Many churches today preach the thought or theory of "Once saved, always saved."  But I find basically nothing that supports that theory.  Oh, sure if you do everything you are suppose to do and live a perfect life, yes, you are saved once and for all.  We are not saved by works alone. We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus the Christ.  However, just because you stand up in some church and say you believe in Jesus, that does not mean that's it and that is all you have to do!!

That is indeed the first step.  You must confess your faith and confess your sins to the Heavenly Father first.  But then you are required to do certain things to keep that salvation.  Will you fail from time to time?  Yes!!  Failing by accident or by ignorance is forgivable.  But the person who believes they can do whatever they want and it does not matter because they are saved is sadly mistaken!  I have gotten into many debates over the years with this very topic.

Before we get into some scripture, let me give you an example.  Let's say you are a Christian, you have your salvation.  You go to church and you try to live a good life.  But then one day, someone wrongs you in a really bad way.  You have some choices to make.  You can do as Jesus taught and turn the other cheek, or you can plan a way to get revenge, even though the bible tells you, "vengeance is mine, says the Lord".  You know murder is a sin but this person hurt you so bad you want to kill them.  You know how you would do it and not get caught.  The Holy Spirit starts to convict you, reminding you that murder is a sin.  But you think, big deal, I am saved, God will forgive me, I am going to heaven even if I kill this person.  And so you kill him/her knowing before hand that it is a sin.

You have done a couple of things besides murdering someone.  You turned your back on the convictions of the Holy Spirit.  That is blaspheming the spirit which is the one thing the bible says IS unforgivable.  You took God's forgiveness for granted, again blaspheming God.  Blaspheming is not just using the Lord's name in vain, it is putting yourself above the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, it is also turning your back on them to do what you want to do.  Sorry folks, but committing an intentional sin after you know better is not necessarily going to be forgiven.  God knows what is in your heart, you might be able to hide from other humans but you can not hide your guilt from God.  Pre-meditating a sin, any sin, is not going to be acceptable.

Turn with me to Matthew 5:31-46.  This particular scripture talks about the final judgment day.  Jesus separates the sheep, from the goats.  The sheep being the believers who followed in His footsteps and lived life as He has told us to.  The goats are also believers but they did not follow in His footsteps and went about life as usual believing they could pretty much do whatever they wanted.  Jesus talks about feeding the hungry, visiting the sick and imprisoned, clothing the naked and giving drink to the thirsty.

Basically I believe Jesus is saying if you don't walk the walk along with talking the talk, you are not doing what you are called to do as a servant of mine and therefore condemned to hell.  But I put the scripture in here because I want you to read it for yourself.  Go from there and you will find other scripture in the bible that shows "once saved, always saved" is a bad theory.

Being a Christian and truly trying to walk the walk is not easy and it is not meant to be easy.  Do you think what Jesus went through was easy?  The bible says the road to heaven is narrow, winding and not the easy path but the road to hell is wide and easy to travel.  In other words, it is going to take work to get down the path to heaven, and once you are saved you must take that harder path to get there.

Truly trying to live a full Christian life the way Jesus taught will bring persecution and ridicule from people but keep this scripture in mind when someone judges you falsely or persecutes you falsely.  Matthew 5:10  says, "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven"  KJV  other versions say, persecuted for my name's sake and Jesus is speaking.  If you are persecuted for doing what Jesus has taught you to do, yours is the kingdom of heaven.  Stop and grasp that a minute.  The rewards in heaven are much greater than anything you can possess on earth.  I would much rather worry about what I will have in heaven for all eternity than for what I might gain on this earth for just a mere few years in comparison.  Wouldn't you??

Additional scripture for you to read.  Matthew 7:13-29  Matthew 5:1-12  This will give you a good start, then you can also do a search for other scriptures that support these.

Until next time,,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Oh what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive,,,,,


Ever know someone who just can't seem to tell the truth about anything?  Then when they get caught in a lie they tell another lie to get out of the first lie.  And it begins to mushroom because they find themselves telling more and more lies to cover up the first lie.  You know, it would have been so much easier if they just admitted the truth in the first place, LOL.

I know such a person.  Seems he has weaved himself such a huge web of lies that he no longer knows what the truth actually is.  At first, I was very angry with him.  I felt like he was insulting my intelligence by lying to me over and over again.  But it has gone to the point of just plain ridicules and silly.  Now, all I do is laugh.  He has proven himself out to be the fool.  He has weaved such a web of lies and deception it has engulfed him and taken over his life.  I almost feel sorry for him in a way.  When you get in that deep there is no turning around and starting over.  You really have made your own trap so to speak.

Jesus said, "do not lie".  No exceptions.  There was not a "do not lie, except,,,,,,"  (fill in the circumstance).  He simply said, "do not lie".  I believe that was for your own protection as well as the person you would be telling the lie to.  Look at my example above.  That person who has told so many lies to so many people no longer has any credibility.  He has become a joke to many people because of the amount of lies and an enemy to some because the lies anger them.  What has he gained by lying?  Nothing!  He touts his own horn thinking he is clever but his friends and relatives do not share in his high opinion of himself.

Lies destroy trust.  How can anyone trust a person they know has lied to them?  Especially repeatedly?  When trust is destroyed the relationship breaks down.  Whether it be an intimate relationship, friendship or relationship between family members.  Many families are not talking to each other any more because someone in the family was a liar and caused problems and distrust.

I think we have all lied at one point or another.  Its just part of human nature, but most will admit the truth when confronted and apologize for lying and end it.  But then you have those like my example above that just keep lying and lying unwilling to admit the truth.

Father God has laid it on my heart that we all need to pray for those habitual liars that we know in our lives.  They are weaving a web that will lead them straight to hell if they do not change their ways.  We should pray that they open their hearts to God so that He can help them change to live a more honest and fruitful life.  One with integrity and righteousness.  One that will put them on the right path towards heaven and not the one they are on which will lead them to hell.

Heavenly Father, I lift up in prayer all those habitual liars.  I pray you open their hearts to you so you can change them and make them a new person, free from the sins they have created in themselves.  Show them how life can be so much better for them without silly lies that really get them no where.  Father I pray you set their feet back on the right paths to follow your ways Father.  I pray not one be lost through the gates of hell.  Father I pray for the ability to forgive those who have lied to me or about me.  Cleanse my heart from the pain I feel of being betrayed and lied to.  Father I ask that you help me to always be a good example to those who have go astray.  I ask these things in Jesus' loving and precious name, Amen!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Moving in a new direction,,,,,,,


I always seem to find myself moving in a new direction.  Am I just confused?  Or am I adjusting to changes in my life?  Sometimes I seem confused.  It seems like I just get all my plans laid out and they change again and I keep wondering why.  I had my plans laid out for my business and was working on them steadily.  Then Frank decided it was time for him to move on to what he thinks will be greener pastures.  And of course his change directly affects my plans.  Time to adjust.

I will need an income as soon as possible and will no longer have the luxury of solely working on my business.  As you know with a business it takes time to get established and built up to an income providing enterprise.  I don't have that time any more because there are bills to pay.  When he came here, we were to help each other, but that did not work out.  He paid the bills and I took care of everything else.  That left little time for work on the business but there was still some.  Now there is none.

I don't plan on giving up on my business dream.  But I have to set priorities.  By my calculations I will need to work a 60 hour week to meet all the basic living expenses.  I have no credit cards or car payments.  This is just basic bills.  After the 60 hours I have a house to take care of.  Yard and garden work, raking leaves, mowing or shoveling snow depending on the time of year.  Then of course there is the inside of the house that needs to be taken care of too.  And my wonderful dog and cat both need their time with momma.

I believe when one door closes another one is open.  God is so good that way.  He will provide the way for me to pay for the needs in my life.  He will help me get the job that best suits my needs and abilities.  I trust in Him completely.  Of course, I need to do my part and do the work that is provided,,, and I will.

I believe God is moving me in a new direction for a reason.  I just need to pay attention to what he is showing me and take the steps he wants me to take.  My dad used to call that, "rolling with the flow".  Be patient, listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit he would say, and you will never go wrong.  We do go wrong sometimes,,, but that is really when we are not truly listening to the Father.

Listening to Father or the Spirit is not always easy.  There are many things in this world that distract us.  All of the caused by the evil one.  In Ephesians 6:12 it says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places".  This tells me that even when someone does something against you, it is not really them doing it but the evil forces in this world.  Satan uses people, often without their true knowledge, to hurt us.  He can put the seed of doubt in our minds if we are not careful.  He can put evil thoughts against another in our minds if we are not careful. But the bible tells us to put on "the whole armor of God" and we can be protected from this.

Putting on the whole armor of God takes work, dedication, determination and trust in God.  It is a daily responsibility.  It is not something you do once and bam you're done for life.  You need to stay in the word of God, to pray and to praise Him every day and every hour.  Keeping God in the forefront of your mind will not allow Satan to enter in.

I know, easier said than done.  Its hard to focus on God when it seems like your world is crashing in on you, been there, done that.  But if you work at it, in time you will feel the Lord's peace even in the toughest of times.  Being a Christian is hard work, but it is well worth it.

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

By whose authority???,,,,,,,


Once again we had an awesome bible study last night.  Marilyn sure is doing an incredible job!!

The study last night was about who has authority on this earth today, who had it in the past, how was it stolen, etc.  I will try to condense this down just to give you the general idea of our study and hope that you will conduct your own.

First, after God created the heavens and the earth, he created man.  We all know that, its pretty simple really.  His name was Adam.  God gave Adam dominion or authority over the earth.  See Genesis 1:26.  So the bible says Adam gave names to all the crawling things, the winged creatures and so on.  Basically, he, Adam, was in charge.  God told Adam he could eat the fruit of any tree in the garden of Eden except one.  Then he created Eve from Adam's rib.  See Psalms 115: 16

Then here comes Satan by way of a serpent and he tempts Eve into eating from that tree that God had told Adam not to eat from.  Adam also ate from that tree falling prey to Satan's tricks.  When Adam and Eve sinned, Satan basically stole their authority over the earth.  But wait, there is good news!!

The only way to take authority over the earth back from Satan was for a person, pure and without sin to take it.  Fast forward in time to a little town called Bethlehem.  There a baby was born unto the Virgin Mary.  His name was Jesus.  Hallelujah!!  Praise God, the King is born!!  This baby, the son of God, and part of God would raise up to bear the sins of everyone.  He would die on the cross a gruesome death, defeat Satan and ascend to heaven to be at the right hand of Father God.  See John 5: 26 & 27

Because Jesus lived a perfect and sinless life He had authority on this earth, but He gave that authority to us.   See Luke 10: 19 & 20

Did you know that you have the right as a Christian to command Satan to leave you alone by the authority that Jesus gave to you and he MUST leave you alone!!  Don't get me wrong, he will try to come back at another point and try to attack you again, but stand strong on the word of God and His promises to you which are written in the bible and Satan can not win in your life.

There are many other scriptures that could be listed here but I just gave you the highlights.  It is my prayer that you conduct your own study on your authority.  Keep in the word daily and it will not let you down.  Praise the Lord, we serve an awesome God!!!

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Did ya ever meet,,,,,,,


Did ya ever meet a person that is just so evil it makes your skin crawl or the hairs on the back of your neck stand up??  Or perhaps someone just made you very uncomfortable but you were not sure why?  Someone gave you the creeps? LOL  I kind of laugh a little but perhaps it is a nervous type of laugh. 

I have met several people in my life time that made me feel that way for various reasons.  Sometimes the reasons were nothing more than a gut feeling.  Other times you could just see the evil in their eyes.  How do you handle that sort of situation?  If you are like me, you don't want to be rude, but you also don't want to stick around.

The bible tells us "do not put your foot in the path of evil for evil will surely bring you down".  Stop and think about that a minute.  I believe the bible is telling us two things, first don't hang out with people you know are not Christians but are sinning and doing evil things because you will become like them.  In time they will wear down your faith and drag you down to their level.  It is one thing to meet with Non-Christians to witness to them, it is another to be ongoing friends with them.

Second I believe we are also to be weary of those folks we just met that we are getting a strong feeling of evilness and get away from them.  Don't make unproven accusations but just walk away.  The sooner the better!!

I have met people for the first time and could tell right of way by their demeanor they were not Christians and walked more in an evil path rather than the path of righteousness.  I would not be rude or set a bad example but I quickly found my path out of that situation.  As Christians we must always beware of other people and our surroundings.  Satan will attack us at any time from any direction using any person(s) he can.  We must always put on the "whole armor of God" to keep ourselves safe.  We need to listen to our gut instincts in situations because those instincts come from God.

It is my prayer that none of you find yourselves in the position of keeping company with a person filled with evil.  That you always walk upright in a Godly path and you trust in the Lord for your guidance.

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Well that was a nightmare, LOL.


Yesterday I wound up working on my computer all day.  It had a lot of bugs in it and a lot of problems.  I defragmented, did a disc clean, deleted a lot of stuff and saved even more to memory sticks.  I wanted to do a total reformat of the hard drive but the CD drive is not reading discs even though the diagnostic program said it was working properly.

All day long I pulled my hair out trying to get things working in proper order.  No luck with the CD drive but everything else is now in tip top shape.  I have errands to run this morning and then will get the new CD drive ordered when I get home.

I must have worked on the computer for 6 hours none stop when I finally took a break and walked away for a while out of frustration.  But finally I got it!!

Today's plan is to finally move the computer into the room that will now be my office.  Hallelujah!!  Once the new CD drive comes in I still plan to do a total reformat to further clean things up.  I sure don't want to ever let it get into this bad of shape again.  Way too much work and nerve racking frustration!!  There is not much I can not figure out how to fix on a computer given the time and patience but yesterday was definitely getting on my nerves.

I just can't see paying a tech $85 an hour or more to do what I have done.  Frank kept telling me to take it to a tech and that was aggravating me even more.  I'm sure he probably meant well, but I can't see wasting the money.  One time many years ago, my ex wanted to take both our computers to a tech for "check ups".  Yeah, it ran much slower and I wound up undoing everything the tech had done.  And to boot, it cost us almost $450.00 for the two computers.  That's just plain foolish and throwing money away!!

Anyone can work on and fix their own computers if they just take the time to learn.  Its really not hard.  But it can be time consuming.

Well, I am off to get errands done.  Hope you have a great day!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Thank you Father God, you are so awesome!!


I just got back from the pool at the Y a little while ago.  I really needed to get back in the water to help my fibromyalgia.  Didn't know how I would do that as I can not afford a membership at the Y but God is good and He provided a way!! My counselor at HRC was able to get me a gift. Thank you so much Father God!!

Father knows our needs and will always provide for them, all we have to do is ask in faith.  Going to the Y is a real need for me.  Moving in the water is very low impact on my body and yet keeps it more limber and helps the fibromyalgia.  Also with all the bulging disks in my spine long walks or running is not something I can physically handle.  My pain doctor wanted me to get in water therapy, but the trip up there would be a hardship financially.  So this really is a need and not just something I want to spoil myself.  I will go to the first water therapy session up there to learn any particular movements they want me to do in the pool then do it on my own down here.  That will be such a savings on me both physically and financially.  I feel blessed.

It felt so good to get back in the water again.  I took it easy though and will build up gradually.  An hour of water walking and treading water was a good start.  For the first couple of weeks I will go three times a week and build that up too.  In about 3 weeks I will add on a day, another 3 weeks another day.  In a couple of months I will be going 5 days a week and hopefully for a little bit longer each time.  If you push too fast you can cause more damage rather than improvement.

Today I am shutting down computer and Internet and doing a full recovery on my hard drive.  I want to get the computer totally cleaned up before I set up the in home call center.  Its been acting up lately and really does need a good clean up to get all the garbage off of it.  Once the recovery is done I will disconnect everything and give the computer a good cleaning of dust and move it into the room that is now going to be my office.  That will take a while, but I hope to be back up and running by this evening or in the morning.

I believe God will bless me with this job so I can have an income and be able to take care of my self after Frank leaves.  And working from home will allow me to continue to work on my ceramics and more importantly be here for my babies, Rusty and Faxon.  Neither of them like to be alone for very long, LOL.  God is so good, all the time!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Yesterday was a glorious day!!


Many of you know I love going to church and I love to sing in the choir.  Yesterday we were short on people in the church.  Not sure where everyone was but even half the choir was missing.  We were also missing a Pastor.  So we made the entire service a praise and worship service.  It was really awesome.  For the most part those that were there came together as a family.  I sang my first solo in many years.  The song is called, "It is no secret".

I have to admit I was very nervous.  It was the first time I had sang a solo any where in over 30 years.  I made a few mistakes but nothing major from what I could tell.  Many people came up to me afterwards and told me they really liked it.  And I know my Lord and Savior loves it when anyone sings for Him.  :-)  I plan to sing another solo for communion Sunday if I can get the music downloaded along with the lyrics.  It is a new song for me and I am still learning it.  But I love it.  It will have great meaning for Communion.

After service the "Secret Sisters" group  put on a meal for Father's Day.  It was very enjoyable and everyone had a great time.  Lots of food as always.  It is so great to come together as a church family and fellowship.  To me, yesterday was indeed a glorious day!!  Thank you Father God for allowing me to be a part of your family!!

Until next time,,,,,,Blessings!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Have your plans changed today???


Have your plans for today changed??  Mine always seem to be changing by the minute.  I would have loved to get out and do some much needed weeding in the garden this morning but rain is coming in and I will not have the time before it hits.  So, I will run some errands then work inside a little.

For now I plan to do that weeding on Monday.  But that might change depending on the weather.  As of now they are calling for sunny and hot, but as we all know only God controls the weather and he might decide to make it rain some more.  I won't complain though as the rain is good for the garden and saves on my water bill. LOL  Besides, Father knows best!!

Speaking of my garden, I did get out there and weed just a little last night.  The tomatoes have several blossoms on them, especially the Roma's.  The potato plants have really taken off.  I have found a place to get some straw to put over them and just need to call to find out what day they will be baling so I can go pick up several bales.  And they are much needed so I hope I can do that some time this coming week.  I have pickling cucumbers coming up good now and beans.  The corn is up a couple of inches, it will be a late season for sweet corn, but that is OK.  Unfortunately, I can not find my beets through the weeds so I am going to have to be careful when I weed around them that I do not pull them out too.  But I can always re-seed if I have to.

Over all I am thrilled with how the garden is coming along considering how late I got it in this year.

Getting back to plans changing.  Do you get frustrated and upset when your plans seem to change or do you adjust easily and sort of roll with the flow?  I used to be one that would get very upset and frustrated.  I just hated when things didn't go according to plan.  But as I have grown older I have learned it really doesn't matter and usually when my plans were changed it turned out to be a good thing in the long run.  I just don't worry about those types of things any more.  If I can't do something I planned I just think OK, I will do this instead.

There are far too many other things in life to keep us stressed and worrying, LOL.  But again I say, Father knows best.  The next time your plans suddenly get derailed ask yourself, OK, what might Father be planning for me instead?  God says, "For I know the plans I have for you,,,,,,,,".  That is so hard for us humans to accept sometimes.  They are God's plans, not ours and we want to make our own.  But if we just learn to let go and let God, we would find that God's plans are much better than our own.

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

My oh my, good morning Lord!!


And good morning Lord!!  Thank you for helping me make it through another day!!

Last night's bible study was very interesting.  We were studying the Trinity and why some folks believe there is a "trinity", God in three persons, and some folks don't.  I have to admit, it can be a bit confusing.  We read a lot of scripture from both old and new testaments.  On the surface they can seem to contradict each other at times, however when put together, they really don't.  I love getting into the bible and trying to learn and understand the mysteries of God.

Of course while still on this earth we will never understand it all.  I believe God gives us knowledge and wisdom as we need it and can understand it.  I can read the same scripture everyday for a year and will often see new or more meaning come out of it.  God knows what we need better than we do.  He also knows what we can handle both in knowledge and in life in general better than we do.

Its not always easy trusting God knows better for us than we do ourselves but He really does.  As I walk through this life I have found with each trial and tribulation it is easier for me to trust and just put it in God's hands.  After all, He has gotten me through the previous trials.

As the current trial I am in continues to march on I am finding myself more and more at peace with it.  It is going to happen whether I am at peace with it or not, so might as well be at peace trusting in the Lord to bring me through it a better person in the end.

It is my prayer that each of you find peace through Christ during your trials and tribulations.  It is my prayer that you know the Lord and always trust in Him.  Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all its righteousness and everything else in life will fall into place.  The most important part of life is really what comes ahead after this earthly life. Making sure you get there should be your primary goal and focus while still here.

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My plans for today,,,,,


Its gonna be a busy day here in this old house.  My friend Tom is coming at 2pm to help me move my office desks into what will be my office and I have to finish getting things ready to do that.  Lots of stuff to be moved out of the way, some to be packed up to be gone through later too.

But I am excited, it is a step in the right direction!!  I can't wait to have the heavy work done.  Then of course there will be unpacking of stuff and organizing but with the heavy stuff out of the way that will be pretty easy.

Tom is a friend from church.  He really likes to help people and I am always grateful for his help.  Don't know what I would do otherwise as Frank cannot and would not help with anything heavy because of his heart.  Wish it was August though so Frank can get out of here and go on down to SC to be with his concubine and finally get out of my life.  I am so tired of the lies and head games from him.  Sure is making it hard for me to trust anyone again.  I knew him back in our school days, but I guess I didn't know him well or he changed.  Oh well, God had a purpose for this all to happen and I will be fine.

God is good, all the time!!  Its awesome to know I can lean on my Heavenly Father in these times of trouble.  Thank you Father God!!

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Good morning Lord!!!

Good morning Lord!!

You helped me make it through another night and it is a new day, with new beginnings.  Thank you Lord!!  I need you to lead me step by step through this valley in the shadow of death and I will fear not, for you are with me.  Thank you Jesus for never leaving me nor forsaking me!!  Without you, I could do nothing, but with you, I can do all things because you strengthen me!

I continue to pray constantly and to sing hymns to you my Lord.  I know you will lead me through these trials and tribulations and I will come out on the end a better person for it.  Thank you Jesus!!

Lord, I know you put Frank and I together for a purpose and I pray I did as you willed.  I know it is you who is separating us now and my trials will soon come to an end. I know you will carry me when I fall and cannot continue and you will bring me from the fire refined and beautiful.  May your light always shine through me!!  I prayed you would get the devil out of my life and you are doing just that, thank you Lord!!

Father, I pray for Frank,  he obviously has many issues and a cold and hardened heart.  I pray you open his heart to receive you and your love.  I pray you change his evil ways and make him a new person Father.  I pray blessings upon him.  I pray you never leave him nor forsake him even when he is not calling on you.  Father I pray for this woman Melva, obviously she is not a moral person to go after a man in a relationship.  She too needs your love and guidance.  I pray you open her heart and make her a new person in you Father.  Father I pray when Frank leaves here the end of August, or sooner he has a safe trip to his destination.  Watch over him and protect him, Father.
In Jesus Name I pray,,,,, Amen!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

When I find myself in times of trouble,,,,


My friends know that I am in times of trouble right now.  Things are a bit rough on the home front to say the least.  But, when I find myself in times of trouble,,,, I know where I need to go and to whom I need to turn....  to my Heavenly Father.  The bible tells us He will never leave us nor forsake us if we just call upon Him.

I've stopped calling on Him to get me through the next month, the next week, the next day or even the next hour.  I call on Him to get me through the next minute!!  I am constantly in prayer for His help and guidance.  Even while typing this I am asking Father God to see me through.  I am standing on His word and the promises in the bible to get me through this very trying time.  God says in the bible, Fear Not!!  For I am with you!!  I am counting on that.  He says, Fear Not, for I know the plans I have for you!!  God's plans are to bring us through  all trials and tribulations in our lives.  He does not promise we will not have them, He promises we will survive them!!

Even though we sometimes feel He has deserted us, he is always there, waiting to hear from us.  The God of the mountains IS still God in the valleys of our lives.  Sometimes it is hard to see God working in our lives when there is something really bad going on, that is when faith has to kick in.  That is when we are called to trust in Him that it will all work out in the end.

I know, believe me I know, that is not always easy to do when things are going bad.  The stress and turmoil can get us distracted, take our minds off of God and that is exactly what Satan wants!!  But God has a plan for even those times.  He has placed people in our lives that we can call upon for help.  For gentle reminders to pray, to seek God's face, to get into the word and let that be our guide.  The bible says to surround yourself with that which is good and discard that which is bad and evil.  Oh if we would only heed those words!!

When I am not praying I am singing hymns in my mind.  Songs like, Victory in Jesus, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, Step by Step, In the Garden, Rock of Ages, Amazing Grace and many more.  It really does help!!

There is much evil in this house right now and I rebuke it in the name of Jesus!!  Satan, you have no place here, for I am a child of God, Jesus is my Lord and Savior,,,, so get out!!!

Do not be afraid to ask others for help!!  Sometimes we are embarrassed or too ashamed to ask for help,,,,, but this is not the time to be prideful,,,,,just ask!!  Ask for prayers, encouragement and strength from your brothers and sisters in Christ,,, that is why God put them in your life!!  They are the comforters God has sent you,,,  Jesus is your strength and your shield.  Put on the whole armor of God,,  read your bible, pray, sing praises,, you will be surprised at the peace it will bring even in the times of trouble!!  Be open and honest with folks so they can help you.  A true Christian will always find a way to help.  For some it might just be prayer but prayer is mighty powerful.  Remember, we CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens us  and yes, we can get through all things through Christ as well.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all its righteousness!!  In other words, seek God for help and it will work out, follow his righteousness and do not repay evil for evil.  The evil one will soon flee if he can not have his way with you.  God will bless you abundantly.  You will arrive to the end of the tribulation and trial with your dignity, good character,and righteousness in tact.  And most importantly, you will have let God's light shine through you in even the worse of times to be a good example for others.  And that my dear friends is what we are called to do.

Is it going to be easy??  Nope, it won't be easy,,,, but you will have stored up rewards on heaven for your actions.  And that is the most important thing!!

Father God, I ask that if there is someone reading this posting today that is going through troubled times that you use this for their good, to help them go in the right direction and to remember to call on you always.  Father I ask that you bless them,  lift them up in faith, strength and courage.  Show them the direction you will them to travel Father.  Send them comforters in their lives to help them get through their trials and tribulations Father.

Father I ask that you continue to lift me up and strengthen me during my trials as well.  I ask that you keep me always walking on your path and if I stumble pick me up and set me on your rock.  Father I thank you for all you have done in my life and all you continue to do.  Please forgive me when I fail and sin Father.  Bless those who read this post Father, for it is for your glory, not mine.  I thank you Father for giving me the words to write as you know they come from the heart.  May I never fail you because I know you will never fail me.

In Jesus loving and precious name I pray, Amen!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Plans are changing,,,,,


Looks like my life plans are changing yet again.  I am going to have to back away from my business for a while and get a steady income coming in first.  Frank is planning on moving out the end of August.  He has an Internet girlfriend he would rather be with.  Hurtful as this might be, I am not going to let it deter me from having a bright and happy future.  Its just going to derail things a bit.

I can get a job as "an in home call center" where I answer phone calls for one or more companies.  No out-going calls, so its not a telemarketer type thing.  There is a guaranteed minimum wage for hours worked plus commission.  I will be busy this week getting things set up for that.

Once I get that going and get into a routine, then I will get back to working on my business again part time and build it up gradually.  I am NOT giving up on my dream of having my ceramics business again, its just slowed down a bit.

I admit I am going to need the love and support of my friends, especially over the next few months as this transition is not going to be easy.  But all good things never seem to be easy and this will be a good thing in the long run.

Well, I need to get ready to go to physical therapy and the doctor's.  Hope you have a good day!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Quick update,,,,,


I don't usually write on Sundays but I missed yesterday and so thought I would just give you a quick update.  As you know I had shots put in my back on Wednesday and it did not go well at all.  They blew out 6 veins before they could get the IV in which after all that, did not take and I felt the shots go into my spine.  Well, I have been having a lot of problems with my back ever since and my stomach.  I won't gross you out with the gory details but its not been pleasant.  Not sure why I am having such a reaction this time.  I have had shots before with no problems, but this has been rough.

I have to go back up there first thing tomorrow to see a physical therapist and then do something called biofeedback.  If I am not feeling better by morning I will have the doctor take a look at me and try to figure out what is going on.  There is so much work I need to be doing and this is really slowing me down.

I still plan on going to church this morning though and singing for my Lord and Savior.  Might not be standing as much as I want to but I will be there.  That will surely lift my spirits as I have been pretty bummed out by all this.  I do hope you all have a great day in the Lord and remember we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!!

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Its cooler today,,,,,


It is much cooler today and I am grateful.  We really needed a break from the heat.  Now I have to fight the urge to do a bunch of yard work today in the cooler weather.  I still need to take it a bit easy with my back after having shots the other day.

But oh do I have the urge  to get out and crawl around in the garden picking out weeds from around where I planted my cucumbers, beans and corn.  Maybe I will try a little bit this afternoon if it stays cool enough.  We'll see, LOL.

Last night we had a very interesting bible study.  We were learning the various names of God in the bible, along with the Hebrew words for those names and their meanings.  I have read these names when reading scripture before but never really gave them much thought.  I wish I had taken my notebook to write some things down but alas I forgot it.  So, I borrowed a pen and marked up some pages in my bible.  Especially the one where God is called the God of vengeance.  Vengeance is mine so saith the Lord!!

How many times do we want to get even with someone for hurting us?  I know I want to a lot.  But I will not act on it as it is God's place to get even for me.  I loved the show Maude from back in the 70s with Bea Arthur.  He favorite saying has become mine, "God will get you for that".  It is a good reminder that God will take care of it, just be patient, LOL.

I'm not always very patient but I have waited a lot of years, 11 to be precise, for the God of Justice to bring me justice on my work comp case.  I believe this will be the year, actually it has to be, there are no more courts to go to after the Appellate Court.  This entire time they have not disputed that I was injured on the job and need to be paid.  The entire argument has been about who is going to pay it, the employer or the insurance company.  I don't care who pays it, just do it!!  I want my shoulder fixed and I want my life back!!  I have a torn rotator cuff and torn up A C joint that have never been fixed.  I don't even know if they can be at this point, but something needs to be done.  After 11 years I still have a great deal of pain in my shoulder.  Bursitis has set in and that does not help.

Due to this injury and the legal mess I lost everything.  My home, many personal belongings, my antique collection, extensive Elvis memorabilia, even the dishes off my supper table while I was eating and the table too.  I was homeless for several years and at one point had even lived in a tent.  With God by my side I got through it all and I thank Him for that.  But now I need the God of Justice to bring justice and a close to this case.  Father God, I am believing in your word that you will do what you say and bring that justice to me.  Bring me Shalom in my life as this is the only thing that I want and need to bring me peace.

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

OMG yesterday was so bad,,,,,


Yesterday I had to go get shots in both sciatic joints.  Let me tell you it was the worse experience I have ever had.  They tried a total of 7 times to get an IV going.  After they blew out 6 veins they finally got one.  My hands are bruised big time and they hurt.  I have never had a problem with my veins before, whether giving blood or getting IVs.  They could hit the vein but the tube part of the IV would not go in.  It was so painful I was crying.  Everyone felt bad.  And I do not think they were doing anything wrong, it just would not go.

So after they finally got the 7th one in they were ready to do the shots.  The medicine to put me to sleep did not work!!  I felt both shots!!  It hurt but I did my best to lay still and get through it.

Afterwards the ride home was uncomfortable.  But I made it.  I rested quite a bit as I was told to.  But I still had to get the dog out for his walk and I still needed to get some grass clippings over my potato plants and it could not wait as they were calling for rain.  My friend Tom came over and helped me get the wheelbarrow out of the basement as I knew I would not be able to lift it and forget about Frank doing it.

Tom also had to borrow my small refrigerator as his had died yesterday so he picked that up too.

It took two loads in the wheelbarrow to get enough grass clippings to cover the potato plants but I am glad its done in spite of the pain it caused.  They were calling for rain last night and today so I could not put it off.  I got the potatoes covered and then hosed the garden down a bit to prevent all those grass clippings from blowing off if the wind kicked up.  I am paying for it today in pain but it had to be done and I feel better for doing it.

I have decided that when I go back for more shots in my back and eventually my neck I will not have them give me an IV.  The pain from the IV  was much worse than the pain from the shots.  The doctors and nurses felt so bad over what happened they kept apologizing but there was nothing they could have done differently.  Stuff happens!!

Other than a quick trip to the grocery store this morning and bible study tonight I am not doing a darn thing.  And I am not doing anything tomorrow either, well except counseling. LOL  I need a couple of days to recover.

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Heading out the door,,,,,,


I have to keep this short as I am heading out the door to get shots in both sciatic joints this morning.  It is about an hour drive from here and I have to leave in 15 minutes.  I sure do hope these shots help!!  I am at my wits end with this pain.

I managed to get all my garden work done yesterday morning.  It took a little over 3 hours but the weeding is done and the rest of the seeds are planted.  I am hurting from it but the feeling of accomplishment is well worth it!!  Tonight I am going to grab a wheelbarrow full of grass clippings from the abandoned house next door to throw on my potatoes.  The city mowed the other day so there is plenty for the taking.  My friend still has not gotten my bale of straw yet and the potatoes need covering.

You keep potatoes covered with straw, hay, or grass clippings as they grow and not only do they produce more but they are protected from the harsh sun.  If potatoes turn green from the sun they are no good and can even be toxic.  Not safe to eat!!

The potatoes are coming along really well and I even have blossoms on some of my tomato plants already.  I have two types of tomatoes, Roma's for sauce making and Celebrities for eating as well as making stewed tomatoes and juice.

In this heat I will need to water again tonight but tomorrow it is suppose to rain so I will be able to work inside and get some chores caught up in the house.  Always so much to do.  I could get a lot more done if this pain was not so bad so please say a prayer the shots help!!

Until next time,,,,,,Blessings!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Its got to be done,,,,,,


I am going to keep this short today because I need to head to the garden.  Its got to be done today.  Tomorrow I will have shots in my back and won't have time to do it or feel up to doing it.  The weeds are trying to take over the garden and the seeds need to be planted.

The humidity is already 77%.  I just took Rusty out to the yard and started choking but I have got to get out there and get as much done as I can.  Thursday it is suppose to rain.  We are to hit highs both today and tomorrow of 95 plus high heat indexes in the 100s.

I have two bills to get out in the mail first then off to the garden I go.

Hope you all have a great day!!

Until next time,,,,,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Need to really get busy,,,,,,,


This crazy weather we have been having has really slowed me down.  I have not been able to get in the garden to finish planting it.  Hoping for this evening or early in the morning.  I thought I was going to do it today but alas, Frank has an appointment at the Danville VA which means we will be leaving soon for that and will be tied up most of the day.

We have either been extremely hot and humid or raining or both.  That bothers the fibromylagia and keeps my pain level through the roof.  It will be hot and humid again for the next few days.  Wednesday I go get shots in my back so it has to be either this evening or tomorrow morning for sure.  My bet is after the trip to Danville today knocking the tar out of me it will be in the morning before the worse heat of the day, LOL.

I have gotten a start on getting my office set up and really need to get that finished too.  And before you know it the lawn will need mowing and trimming again.  The work never ends!!

After my little test on Saturday regarding facebook I have certainly changed my priorities.  And facebook is no longer near the top.  Most people understood my little test or didn't care but some well, one was upset.  I don't think she read the entire post and consequently misunderstood what I was doing.  Oh well,  I can not worry about her hurt feelings, I have enough of my own, LOL.

Things at home are unstable at best.  But that is life too.

I had gone back to the church I was at before and had left due to internal bickering.  Nothing has really changed.  I feel like I am walking on egg shells out of fear of "offending" anyone.  This is not what church should be about.  I pray everyone outgrows their petty jealousies and gets back to what church is really about.  The church will not grow so long as there is turmoil and strife amongst the congregation.  The church needs a new pastor.  It has been 6 months since Pastor Dave passed away.  As hard as it may be it is time to move on.

Well, on my agenda for today is go to the VA with Frank.  If I do not work in the garden this evening then I need to continue working in the office.  Now that the little a/c unit is in the window in that room it will be much easier to work in there.  Previously we had the room closed off as it was not being used and it was very hot.  So the a/c helps.  As long as I am keeping busy doing something instead of being on this computer so much, I count it good.  Its much needed work being done.  :-)

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

It was a test and everyone failed,,,,,,,


Not long ago there was a discussion on Amish America about what us "outsiders" were willing to give up if we wanted to become Amish and/or live their lifestyle.  Most Amish are not allowed computers, TV, cell phones, house phones, etc.  Some are allowed some of these options for business purposes only.

Several people said they would have a hard time giving up the Internet now but TV would not be a problem.  Most said the convenience of their cell phones would be hard to give up but that they could do it.

I got to thinking I would miss my friends on facebook and they would miss me.  Or would they?  I usually make a status post twice a day, every day.  One in the morning, wishing everyone a good morning and telling them my plans for the day and one at night, ending my day.  Surely someone would miss those posts!!  After all, I never miss and for me to miss someone would notice and think maybe something is wrong.

So, I decided to put it to the test.  For the last week I made no status posts.  Yes, I chatted with a couple of people in private and the games I played were posted that I had played them, but still not one "good morning" or "good night" post from me for an entire week.

It was a test and everyone failed!!  Not one person sent a message or made a post asking me if I was OK!!  I was surprised, almost shocked.  Especially because I usually get reply posts to my status posts.  I can understand someone not noticing for a day or even two but for an entire week?

It makes you wonder if people just don't care or perhaps they are just too busy with their own thing they don't notice?  I am sure I have missed others not being there for a while.  After all, I have almost 170 people on my friend's list.  It is hard to keep track of everyone.  Although, I do believe I try.  Of course some people just don't make regular posts so it would be hard to notice if something is different.

As a result of this test I have come to the conclusion that it would not be that hard after all to give up facebook too.  My true friends have my address, phone number and know how to get in touch with me if I no longer had facebook or even Internet for that matter.

Would I give up Internet completely?  It would have to depend on the circumstances.  I do use it for my business.  But if I can find another way to promote and build my business I would gladly give up the Internet.  Or if I find another way to make a living where I did not need the Internet it would be gone.  TV I would not have at all if it were not for Frank.  I watch a little with him to spend time with him in the evenings, but other than that I would not even turn it on.  I stopped watching TV 11 years ago when I was a truck driver and did not have the time to watch it.  I did not miss it one bit.

The phone and cell phones could be given up easily too were it not for business.  They are annoying most of the time and I have done without both of them before as well.

I would never "become Amish" because I do not agree with some of their beliefs, however, adapting a similar lifestyle is appealing to me.  I want to simplify my life as much as possible.  There are way to many daily stresses in life without adding to them.  I would also love to homestead and become as self-sustainable as possible.  Raising my own food, both animal and vegetable is important to me.  Not having the outside peer pressure of having to always have the best is something I have not really succumbed to, but I would also like to eliminate that pressure from my life completely.

Would I, could I, dress plain like the Amish?  Yup, that would not be a problem at all.  In fact that would help to eliminate the peer pressure to 'always be fashionable" which I am not any way, LOL.  But at least if I am dressing "plain" no one is going to say something stupid like, "that's last year's style and its out". LOL.

I think this "failed test" has given me more to think about.  And encouraged my goals of homesteading and doing a without a lot of these things that just adds more complication to one's life.  What do you think?

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Not what I wanted to write about,,,,,,


Well this is not what I wanted to write about but I have decided it would be best to let it rest for now.  If I wrote what I really wanted to it would be out of frustration and anger.  And that would not be a good thing.  Better to wait until I have calmed down and can make more sense out of it.

So, instead, I guess I can write a little more about my garden. LOL.   I still do not have seeds in yet.  That was the plan for yesterday but it rained in the morning and hard enough that the garden is a bit of a mud puddle.  The water is not standing any more and has drained down but it is very wet and muddy.  I will let it dry out today and plan on planting seeds in the morning.  I have some weeding to do as well.

My potato plants are up about 6 inches.  I still have no straw to cover them so have been raking grass clippings onto them.  That is working so far.  The tomato plants went from about 3-4 inches tall to around 12 inches in just a couple of weeks.  They are liking their spot in the garden for sure!

I am not going to get everything in the garden I had originally planned on for this year because of the very late start in the season but it will still be a nice garden.  We will have tons of potatoes, tomatoes, beets, green beans, pickling cucs and corn, also a few onions.  That should be fine for this year.  Time will only tell on how next year will be.

I have counseling this morning and errands to run afterwards.  Frank is going to the VA to check his blood again.  The blood levels are out of whack again and they still can not get them regulated.  Can't figure out why they keep shooting up.  Please keep him in your prayers.

Until next time,,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

All the best laid plans,,,,,,


All the best laid plans often go awry and this was no exception, LOL.  Last night I worked for about an hour in the garden getting it prepped to plant seeds this morning.  I replanted the potatoes that rose to the surface from the hard rains we had and covered them with some dried up grass clippings.  Still waiting for my friend to bring me a bale of straw for them.  I put the cages around the tomato plants as they are growing fast and will soon need the cages.

I rigged up a trellis for my pickling cucumbers to grow on and keep them off the ground a bit.  Also made a taller trellis for my pole beans to grow on and worked the ground a bit for planting today.  I should have checked the forecast before going to all that work.  It is raining this morning and raining pretty hard.  It was not expected before tonight the last I had heard and then it was going to be a gentle rain.  So my plans have gone by the way side this morning.  But I guess it is a good thing I did not get the seeds in last night or they would be all over the place and not where they were suppose to be.

After the rains today it is suppose to be dry again for the next several days.  I will need to once again re-work the dirt and prepare it for the seeds as I am sure this hard rain is packing it back down again.  So perhaps on Saturday I can plant the seeds, hopefully the ground will be dry enough then to work it.

Life is always interesting and one must be flexible to keep up with its constant changes.  But I like keeping busy.  :-)

A quick update on my visit to the pain clinic.  They are going to put shots in my lower back next week, in both sciatic joints.  That is to be followed with "biofeedback" and water therapy.  I have to find my bathing suit, LOL.  I have not worn it in a couple of years and do not even know if it fits.  Oh joy!  Maybe I can get Frank to buy me a new one?  If none of this works then they will deaden the nerves.  Time will tell.

Until next time,,,,,,,,Blessings!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Off to the pain clinic today,,,,,,


As many of you know I suffer from fibromyalgia.  It is getting much worse.  I had an appointment set for the 13th with the pain clinic but they called yesterday and moved it up to today.  I am glad they did.  I just hope I can convince them to deaden the nerves.  Drastic measures I know but I am having a harder and harder time just doing normal daily chores and this is slowing me down way too much.

I guess time will tell what they will do.  I am going to keep this short today as I have a lot to try to do before I head out.

Until next time,,,,,,Blessings!!