Where does the time go???

Greetings!!

Another week has flown by.  Where does the time go??  Naturally I am very busy with ceramic orders and that helps the time pass, but geeze it seems like it is flying and I am not getting everything accomplished that I want to.

Yesterday I had to go to the doctor's office.  My back has been getting much worse over the years and on Thanksgiving day I made it even worse.  I really hurt it lifting the turkey out of the oven.  The sciatic joint area and lower lumbar are both in really bad shape.  I need surgery but with no insurance and no steady income that is not going to happen any time soon.  I can barely walk.  When I go grocery shopping today I will use the motorized cart and ride through the store.  I absolutely hate the idea of this but with every step the pain gets worse.  I will never make it through the store otherwise.

When I go to the basement to work on ceramics I stay there a little longer than usual because the trip back up the stairs is a killer.  You've heard the song, "One Day at a Time", well I am now taking it one step at a time.  With each step I pray, "Lord, give me strength to concur this next step".  Yes, it really is that bad!!  There is no such thing as a comfortable position whether sitting, standing, walking or laying down.  The morphine I am on helps take the edge off just a bit, but sometimes that is better than nothing.  I don't like taking pills if I can avoid it so usually wait until I just can't tolerate the pain any more.

I rely more and more on the Lord every day just to get me through.  The bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  I have to constantly remind myself of this when I want to give up.  Fighting pain is hard on the body and mind.  I also have chronic pain with the fibromyalgia, but even as bad as it gets it is not as bad as this.  I can somewhat push through that and at least take care of the basic household chores.  Now, I can not even take care of myself without help.  I hate feeling like this!!  I refuse to give up!!  Never give up!!  That is what I keep telling myself as I struggle each day to have some sort of a normal life.  But alas, normal for one person is not normal for another.

On the bright side of my doctor's visit, I have managed to get my blood pressure back down to normal range without medicines since August.  So the doctor has decided to keep me off the meds so long as I continue to lower my blood pressure.  Getting people out of my life that has caused me an unusual amount of stress has helped a lot.  I know it is not from exercising because of my back the way it is, there isn't any exercising going on, LOL.  Maybe it is someone new in my life that is always positive and uplifting.  Someone I can trust with my life?  I'm sure that is what it is, a dear friend that I can lean on completely.  :-)

I'm sure to some this post sounds like I am just moaning, and complaining.  But in every dark cloud there is a silver lining.  As my back grows weaker my faith grows stronger.  My Lord and Savior, Jesus, helps me get through every hour of every day.  The less moving around I can do, the more time I have for my ceramics, which I love, and for reading my bible or other Christian books, which I also love.  And I know that this too, will someday come to pass.  My suffering is nothing compared to what Jesus endured for a lowly sinner like me. 

The day will come when I will be given a new body, a spiritual body, one without pain and illness.  One without sorrow.  There will be no more tears from pain of the heart or of the body.  There will be nothing but joy, peace and true happiness. Knowing that this time here on earth is nothing but a blink of an eye compared to all eternity with Jesus gives me the strength to endure.  I suffer, yet I am blessed beyond measure because the riches that await me in heaven are far greater than anything good or bad that I will see in this lifetime.

Do you know Jesus?  I pray you do!!  But if you do not, I pray you seek and find Him for He is the one and only key to all eternity!!

Until next time,,,,,,,Blessings!!