Forgiveness and repentance,,,,,

Greetings!

Recently I have received some emails asking me about true forgiveness and repentance.  Basically they wanted to know when it is OK to forgive and do you have to allow that person in your life again if you forgive and of course, what about God?

First off, I think it is always OK to forgive.  God expects us to forgive others, especially if we want him to forgive us.  But forgiveness and repentance should go hand in hand.  So, what is repentance?  Repentance is truly being sorry for the sin or offense to the other person or to God.  And trying hard not to commit the same offense again.

Here is an example:  Let's say I sinned against you or offended you in some way.  I first need to apologize.  But what if my apology is half-hearted?  What if I say something like, "I'm sorry I hurt you BUT so and so ticked me off and I blamed it on you".  Is that true repentance?  NO!!  Not accepting responsibility for my own actions and trying to blame someone else is not true repentance.  It should not matter if someone else ticked me off.  That did not give me the right to hurt you in some way.  So and so did not put a gun to my head and make me take my frustrations out on you!!

Instead, if I were really sincere and repentant of what I did my apology should go something along these lines:  "I am sorry for what I did to you, I will try not to behave that way again, please accept my apology."  No buts, no excuses, no putting the blame elsewhere.  I am truly apologizing for my actions.

The bottom line is we cannot control someone else's actions but we can control our own.  And we must strive to control our "re-actions".  People tend to have "re-actions" to different situations.  Most of the time without thinking them or the consequences through first.  If we have a "re-action" to something it is still our responsibility.  Either think it through first or deal with the consequences later.

This is how we deal with other people, we also deal with God in much the same manner.  You must be sincere in asking forgiveness, take responsibility for your actions and re-actions and be repentful in your heart.  Does it mean you will never make the same mistake again?  Not necessarily.  But the difference is if the same situation arises and you were truly repentant after the first time, you might think it through before acting.  Practicing to control your emotions and re-actions will help you in each situation.  We are not perfect.  It takes time.  But people and even God will eventually get tired of you doing the same thing over and over and then apologizing without a repentant heart.

I also do not think it is always necessary to allow a person who has sinned against you back in your life.  But each situation is different.  For example, the person who abused me will never be a part of my life again.  I do not think God would require me to put myself in danger.  But as a Christian, I can forgive and love that person from afar by praying for them to turn from their evil ways and to give their life to God.  And there are the times where the sin was a one time thing and although it hurt it was relatively mild in the grand scheme of things and you feel comfortable trying again.  Either way, once there is forgiveness you should not carry a grudge.  Move on with your life, either with or without that person.

I hope this has answered some of your questions.  If not, just message me.

Until next time,,,,,,Blessings!!